


A kiss with a fist is better than none (English)

by ThaliaBubble



Category: Loki - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Cat, Funny, Gen, Lies, Love, Magic, Or not, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Surprises, Travel, promise I'll post soon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2019-10-03 02:06:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17275064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThaliaBubble/pseuds/ThaliaBubble
Summary: You are going to have a surprise when you go to bed with your cat. But not necessarily an unpleasant one. It's the beginning of a strange duo.Loki is not dead (surprise !) and he seems decided to return to Asgard...but it's not that simple and he has to deal with an unexpected companion (you...).(Second person writing)





	1. Everybody wants to be a cat

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [A kiss with a fist is better than none (Français)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17272403) by [ThaliaBubble](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThaliaBubble/pseuds/ThaliaBubble). 



> Translated with Google traduction, sorry.  
> I hope it's gonna be fine and you'll enjoy ^^

"Loki? Loki! "

With the vocal elegance of a fishmonger, you continue to call your cat for a few minutes before giving up and accepting that it can make its life elsewhere, probably under a piece of furniture. It's often like that, it never shows when you have time to give it; obviously, it's so much more fun to slouch on your computer or your books when you're working. That will teach you to give it the name of the god of malice. This is something that always surprises your friends, especially after the events of a few years ago, the aliens, all that...

Maybe it's because you love these kinds of stories, or because you've read Slothbaby fanfics too much, but you cannot help but think that Loki -the real one, not your cat- wasn’t totally guilty in the destruction of Manhattan. It was still a particularly nagging approach, not really the kind of the god of malice and of stuffed blows. He is more of a kind to attack from behind, right? Add to that that he is far from being ugly and one will easily understand that you are a little bit, a little little bit fan. He has style, it's undeniable.

Mechanically, you tidy the leftovers of your meal while listening to the TV talking about the Avengers for the umpteenth time and how they ended what the media call "The Ashpocalypse". You weren't one of those who disappeared but it was an extremely dark time. Fortunately, now everything is over and that's good. Like a lot of people, you refuse to think about it too much, prefer to leave it behind you and move forward. It's not about closing your eyes but ... in short, you don’t want to talk about it, all’s well that ends well and we didn’t have to deplore too many losses.

Your bare feet make a funny noise on the lino, you like to imagine that they are suckers that stick to the ground as if you were an octopus. Yes, we have the delusions we can. With one hand, you push the door of the bathroom while scrolling a Youtube playlist of your composition. As you live alone and don’t like silence, your apartment is always filled with music, be it Powerwolf, Muse or soundtracks. Although with a great sense of humor, you avoid putting the theme of Psycho when you're in the shower, it's your only rule. Nonchalantly lying on the carpet, Loki watches you enter before continuing his toilet, polishing his black fur carefully.

"Are you coming to keep me company? Voyeur ... "

That he stays there does not bother you, you are used to pairs of eyes with all the posters that adorn your room. You cram the edge of the bathtub and slide the curtain, not without having pulled the tongue to your kitty cat, nah. Singing in a low voice to avoid disturbing your neighbours (it is already late), you enjoy hot water to the maximum before going out and wrapping yourself in a towel, ready to go to sleep. The cat has not moved, still contemplating you as if it was master in its house, which does not stop it from purring when you stroked its head and cuddled like an old lady before taking it in your arms and take it to your room. Some people don’t like their pet sitting on the bed but since Loki does not shed too much hair and never brings back fleas, you don’t mind sharing.

To save time, you throw the towel on a chair and slip directly under the comforter to put on you pajamas. As long as you are naked, you prefer to be warm. A few contortions later, you are ready to sleep. You have closed the door, all the lights are off, you have a big warm quilt and the cat is still purring in your back .... What better ask?

 

"Good night, Loki"

You close your eyes, begin to sink in the mists of sleep while thinking of a thousand things at the same time: the visit of your mother next weekend, your job, the next film that you're going to see, the feeling of the arms around your waist ...  
Wait ... WHAT?

Returning somewhat to reality, you frown and slide a hand to your hip, certain to feel only your pajamas and nothing else, as is often the case when you daydream. Your fingers brush something warm and hard on your stomach: a hand! It's a nightmare, a simple nightmare, it happens ... You open your eyes while continuing to gently feel this hand that is certainly not yours but which is rude to invite itself like that. Hand connected to an arm that surrounds your waist. If it's an erotic dream, it starts off veeeeeeery strangely. But if it is, it's really just that, a dream. You had to eat too much and it causes strange reactions in your brain. You knew that you should not eat this yoghurt, the expiry date was long passed.

"It's a yoghurt, nothing but a yoghurt", you start to repeat yourself mentally, without really knowing if it makes any sense. That's when a hot breath comes to rest on your neck, making your whole body stretch like a bow. This is when you realize that a hard mass is stuck in you back. It's not the wall, it's not the cat. Oh shit…

Suddenly, you turn and send your arm back, just to know once and for all if you're going to hit the blank or something. Your fist strikes a cheek and the unknown arm leaves your hip as a body falls from the bed with an expletive. The pain in your hand tells you you're awake. Shit, it's not a dream, it's not a dream!  
Your fingers take a moment to find the switch but they finally manage to turn on the light, because you refuse to be one of those horror movie gourds who decide to stay in the dark. In order to protect yourself from your attacker, you catch the first thing that comes to hand: a soft toy. Seriously?

" What the fuck is happening ?! "

Delicate, posed, feminine ... You stand up as you can on the mattress, your mini Sherlock brandished in a vain threat, and you finally detail the intruder. The first thing that jumps out at you is that he is naked. Oddly enough, that's the kind of detail that gets important at 2 A.M, when you live alone. Then, and it's probably worse than nudity, you think you recognize who it is.

"Loki ?! THE Loki of Asgard! "

Awe succeeds surprise, it's way too surreal for you to be scared. What should you be afraid of anyway? He is naked and you are not.  
The young man stands up and gives you a big smile as if nothing had happened, as if it were only a magic trick, quite predictable. You would be watching for a "tada". Suffocated by the shock, you stammer vainly before the anger rises and make your words more intelligible.

"But what ... What are you doing here? What ... oh shit, cover up! "

You throw your quilt at him, trying not to look too far down, waiting for explanations that the god does not seem wanting to give. It may seem strange but you would like to know what an Asgardian god comes to do in your apartment, naked as a worm and looking happy about it. He does not press anyway, wraps the blanket around his hips and then settle on a chair, on the verge of doing a remake of Basic Instinct. You put the soft toy on the bed-it was useless anyway-and stare the newcomer with all the wrath you are capable of. Task made difficult by the vision of his fine muscles and his mocking eyes, damn, he’s hot! 

" What is happening ? "

No need to expand your question, you think it encompasses the whole brothel environment. Loki -wow, it's him! - settles comfortably before smiling at you, the kind of charming smile that must be his trademark.

"But you called me ... You invited me to sleep with you. "

He looks so proud of him, the bastard! Like you did that! Baloneys ... "Come on Loki, come sleep with me" ?! The only Loki in your life is your cat ... Oh no ...  
Your whole thread of thought must be read on your face because the young man bursts out laughing, shaking his head, folding his arms nonchalantly on his chest.

"Meow"

Your pillow misses his head a few inches, crashes with a soft noise against the wall before falling to the ground.

"You took the place of my cat ?! Are you serious ?! "

This time, you shouted but you don’t care to wake up neighbors, it's totally an incredible story. The worst thing is that the other bitch is far from denying and the more you look at him, the more you realize that indeed, there is a little air. The way to look at you especially, with attention, as when your cat waits a caress or when you walk in front of it. Wait ... Does that mean he was in the bathroom ?! You were naked in front of the god of malice! It's a bad joke, you're going to wake up ...

\- Oh shit…. Kind of pervert! You watched me in the shower!  
\- And not that. You are rather shameless when you think yourself alone.  
\- How long has it been?  
\- A month.  
\- A month ?!

You collapse on the mattress, digging into your memory to remember important events but nothing comes to you. You paid my rent, there was no attack of super-villain, nothing major in any case. Your cat lost its way ... So here it is! That's when there was an exchange! And you, you think about it as if it was normal ...  
Taking advantage of your silence, Loki explains, eyes sparkling with a fun that annoys you.

"When Thanos attacked the Asgardians' ship, I pretended to be dead and fled as best I could. It was not easy and I wandered a lot before I failed on Earth, in a country called Nepal. I finally managed to get here, tired, without really knowing what I was going to do. And I hear you calling me, or at least calling your cat. It was a simple way to have room and board. "

It seems so simple and normal when he says it ... His brother would have offered to compensate you. It's funny but now that Loki is in front of you, you have less desire to see him. Oh boy, you hope you did not talk about him in front of ... well, what you thought was your cat ...  
The red goes up to your cheeks for a brief moment before you calm down. It's better that you keep your head cool. Even if it's the most total shit ... With your most assured air, Iyou stand up to your full height (which is not high) and look at the god right in the eye hoping to keep your calm to the maximum in the face of this living fantasy.

"Listen ... we ... Well, you don’t seem to be able or want to go to where you came from so we have to live together. But don’t turn into a cat anymore. And never look at me again in the shower! We will find you some clothes and ... .and you will give me back my cat. Once it's done, we'll see. "

Have you been clear? No idea but it would be good because you're not sure you can express things more simply. You could have told him to leave. You should have. But you did not think about it. Part of you hopes to find a small compensation for this situation, he probably has ideas to be forgiven ...

" It's OK for me "

Loki gets up and holds out his hand with his most innocent look, letting the quilt fall down, which was nevertheless very practical for you to keep the ideas clear. And shit, you took a god as a roommate.


	2. Face to face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or the consequences of a strange night ... We always have surprises in the morning.  
> Loki and you will have to live together, but that doesn't mean that they don't test each other. A competition is likely to engage, one who will bend the other first and you are not ready to accept the situation wisely.

Part of you is reluctant to shake his hand for different reasons. The first is that you absolutely don’t trust Loki and you would be pretty easily right. The second is that you stubbornly fix the ceiling and that to aim his hand, it would be necessary to lower the eyes towards ... his total absence of decency! Nevertheless, you would like to avoid vexing a god who can potentially change you into a pen or a carp so you will have to squeeze it. His hand.

Of your hesitation, the intruder does not miss a detail and when you finally agree to seal your agreement, he pushes the vice until deposit a quick kiss on your fingers, as if you were going to fall in love because of his devastating charm. Pff ... you squint and lightly growl, a reaction that seemed more threatening in your head but is totally ridiculous. In your defense, it must be 3am, your thoughts are not clear. Shit ... You'll be in a sorry state tomorrow!

"Now, let me sleep, I’ll have a long day tomorrow and it's out of the question that I start it head in the ... that I start it tired. "

With a resolute attitude, you're about to go back to bed when you realize that the quilt still strewn the ground and that your new roommate doesn’t seem to want to pick it up. Trying to maintain a minimum dignified attitude, you crouched, your eyes fixed on the fabric and not on the ankles near your face, even less on the firm legs that are above. As for the rest, it's out of the question to think about it for a second. Needless to say, when you get up, you're red like a tomato under the amused gaze of a god of mischief who must have fun like crazy. As you lie down on the mattress and turn your back on it, you hear Loki come closer as if to prop up against you again. He really believes he will sleep with you ?! Never ... well, never again!

" NO ! The sofa is in the other room. I do not show you, you know the place. " 

Angry, you fold the quilt on you to cut short and wait to hear him leave the room to breathe a sigh. It's totally unreal ... and catastrophic!  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Your alarm rings and you stand up with difficulty, hair in the face and head whirring of a strange dream that you made, the kind so improbable that you decide not to think about. All you can say is that you will never see your cat in the same way. Besides, it must be waiting after its croquettes. Wait a minute…

The memories of the night come back to you abruptly - this formulation is very ambiguous - and strangely, it does not make you react more than that. A kind of weariness invades you, probably because you just got out of bed and you always need a little time before being operational. Moreover, you were already pissed off yesterday, it didn’t lead to much. It will be necessary to manage the situation with phlegm, to put this god out as soon as possible to be able to find a normal life. Yes, you will do it. No reason he goes on anyway, not here, not with you.

Drowsy, you wrap yourself in a vest and go into the living room, somewhat curious to see if your visitor didn’t disappear during your sleep. But no, he's on the couch, only covered by what seems to be your coat. Ok, you will never be able to put it back again. Not without thinking about what it has hidden. You hesitate to wake violently the unwelcome to avenge you a little, go look for the flute of your high school years. A little cacophony waking up, it's always nice, right? With a sneaky air, you approach without a sound to the sofa, the crime weapon tight in your hand and ready to serve your revenge. But you don't use it. Instead, you find yourself watching your new roommate and wondering how many people have seen him like that : asleep, calm and ... harmless. Probably pretty little but it's a special sight, he would be almost touching. Almost…

A beautiful, very strident B sounds when you blow in the flute with undisguised pleasure, very proud of being able to make him change his room. Loki jumps and opens his eyes, haggard, and gives you a shocked look that fills you with happiness. It will teach him to come and squat your apartment !

Much too fast for your own satisfaction, the god recovers and gives you a glance before stretching long, reminding you by what stratagem he managed to slip home and into your bed. It is true that you find the cat in him, observing well. Besides, you may be observing him too well; you would have to take care of breakfast. It should not be that your guest starves ... *rolling eyes*

While your toasts are cooking, you begin to think about how to get rid of this too cumbersome guest. To deliver him to the Avengers seems to you the most logical solution but still it is necessary to manage to bring him to them. It's not like in tales; you don't know how to keep him in the form of a cat to lock him in a crate. You would have to think about it.

After putting on your coat (thankfully long), Loki gets up and starts to watch with great interest the contents of your apartment, from your DVD collection to the rare pictures on display. Yet he had time to make a grand tour of the flat, right? And he saw you in extremely personal situations ... Nonchalantly, he plays with a wrapping paper, looking extremely amused by something. The problem is that he clearly gives the impression of making fun of you, and even if it's perhaps his natural expression, you appreciate very little that the joke is on you in the morning. Or the afternoon. At any time of day or night actually.

"Is it candy paper that makes you laugh? You don’t need much ..."

"No, I thought you were the most pathetic creature I've ever met. All those nights, sprawled in front of the TV, gobbling up whole packages of M&M's ..."

What a bastard ... You open your mouth to answer something scathing but hold you at the last moment. Not by shame but precisely because it does not affect you. How to stay at home quietly is degrading? Frankly, you love these threesome: TV, chocolate and you. So he can think what he wants, little cone of medieval god ... You just shrug to show that you fully assume and look straight in his eyes while continuing to prepare breakfast. Something like surprise passes over the young man's face, as if he were happy with your reaction. Maybe it wasn't the bottom of his thought but a simple attempt to destabilize you. It doesn't matter.

The toasts burn your fingers and you loose them more than you put them on the plate before taking fruit juice, coffee and butter to arrange everything on the small table. It's funny how, even in front of an Asgardian god, we keep the habits of everyday life. Nothing will stop you from enjoying the first meal of the day. 

"Here, breakfast is served. "

The contents of the bowl makes a little wet noise when you put it under Loki's nose with an innocent smile. What? So far, he has always eaten cat food, why change? Berk ... just thinking about it, you are nauseated, it's really a thing that disgusts you, the smell, the texture, everything in cat food disgusts you and you avoid buying it as much as possible. But like any single living with an animal, you cannot refuse anything to you cat. In addition, it allows you a little cruel pleasure this morning so you don't regret anything. Loki laughs and pushes the bowl with his fingertips before using the coffee, perfectly at ease.

"In this form, I prefer more conventional meals. " 

"Oh, but you don’t have to be timid in front of me. " I replied with a big smile, "I saw you doing your toilet and with application. " 

And this thought will probably haunt you for a little while. The immodesty of cats is one thing but when the cat is not really one, it pushes to put everything in perspective ...

"There is no harm in being flexible," says the squatter, leaning over to catch a toast and bite it with a big smile, his green eyes sparkling with mischief. Your poor coat struggles to fulfill its task and every movement threatens to reveal what you have absolutely no desire to see again. Between that and his most ambiguous remark, you feel like sheltering a sex obsessed, the kind exhibitionist on the run.

A long silence settles down and you eat without any exchange of words or even looking at each other. The next few days may be hectic, at least as long as you find a solution to this small colocation problem. Loki is probably preparing a plan to go back so that suits you. You just have to find him clothes, shoot him from your house with big kicks on the buttocks and get your cat back. It may sound silly but you like it.

"When will you give me back my Loki? " 

"Patience, let me finish my meal. You humans are so impatient! For an animal…”

"Dixit the one who gave birth to an eight-legged foal. Besides, what went through your head? An irrepressible desire to bang the beautiful stallion of the neighbor? "

For the first time since his arrival, the face of the god darkens with an ounce of embarrassment and he pinches the lips with a grimace. Since the time you want to know the end of this story, here is a great opportunity to bother him, even a little bit. Loki spits out his response with a grunt, visibly still ashamed of what has become a legend.

"I was drunk ... Do you ever do things you regret when you're drunk?" 

"Nah ... not to the point of getting pregnant. Especially with a horse. But we have the fantasies we can ..."

And Bam ! Extremely proud of having folded his cackle to the god of mischief, you get up and unchecked him your smile of bastard. After that, he should understand a little better that he is not dealing with a fearful little peasant woman worshiping him. For you, he’s just an extraterrestrial, like E.T or Yoda but less wrinkled. This cohabitation will be rock n 'roll but it is out of the question that you let him walk on your feet. An electric guitar tune in mind, you leave the table to get dressed, feeling badass and ready to settle this situation as a leader. The Asgardians, you manage them.  
At least, you hope ...


	3. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You must think of sending Loki from where he comes from and to prevent him from walking around naked like a child of 3 years. But while you and your roommate try to think calmly, an unexpected visit may disrupt you ... and shatter the tiny bubble of calm that had been created.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translated with Google traduction. Sorry ^^  
> Hope you'll enjoy it.

Despite your reassurance, you hasten to block the door of your room with a chair, just in case the other jester would want to visit you at the worst time. Technically, he has already seen you dressing but you prefer to try to erase this kind of detail of your mind for the moment. You get the first clothes available - after sniffing them, obviously - and get ready quickly. No need to get worked up for so little. 

Finding clothes for Loki appears however much more complex. First because it's a man and then because you have not really ... the same format. Maybe one of your dresses would please him ... yes, that would surely suit him perfectly. You burst out laughing alone by imagining this big brown with a strapless and a twirling skirt, it will make your day. Still laughing, you pick up some clothes and push the chair to go back to the living room.

"I leave something to cover you on the table, that's all I have. " 

Expecting to find your unwanted guest still wrapped in your coat (or worse, without the coat), you jump in surprise at seeing him dressed in a dark suit. Where did he find that? Unless he went shopping during your absence, he had to steal it from a neighbor. Or…

"Wait, it's an illusion, is it? " 

Not at all embarrassed, the young man allows himself a little turn so that you can admire his suit from every angle. It's true that it suits him well ... he does not lack class. But that's not why you're going to accept that he walks naked.

"Do you like it ? " 

"N ... no! Well…yes but not! I know you're not really dressed and it's going to disturb me all day so put on that. Keep your fake suit if you want but I want to know you ... covered. "

Without waiting for an answer, you throw him the jogging pants and the t-shirt you picked up for him and turn around to give him time to change. Looking for the moment when you will be able to face him again, you fix a shelf trying to think of neutral things. That's when you see a small ball of hair run in your legs before purring with force. Loki! Well, your Loki.

"Kiki! "

The cat seems happy to find you and it does not look more traumatized than that, it's reassuring. As happy as a mother recovering her child, you take it in your arms to cuddle, letting it give you small impulses. 

"An agreement is an agreement, I return you your cat, and in good health" 

" Thank you. " 

You turn around, somewhat softened by the return of your precious pet. It's fine and now that it's back, you're a little less angry. Maybe the cohabitation will go well, as long as you remain on your guard. Loki looks good but you're suspicious, he's the kind of guy who seems innocent to stab you, right?

For now, the god of malice does not seem very threatening in his new clothes, especially with this t-shirt Skyrim (the largest you could find) that falls oddly. Do you take pleasure in ridiculing him? Probably. But admit that it feels good. He does not stay long in jogging, making reappear his black costume that suits him so well. It's time to have a serious discussion.

"How can I help you get away ... where you want to go? "

The most logical thing would be that he goes back to Asgard but maybe he doesn’t want to ... Loki plays a brief moment with his cufflinks, seeming to think seriously about the question. Could it be that he has no idea? No, it would surprise you, he has a plan behind his head, he always has one.

"There is a spell to open a portal to the other worlds of Yggdrasil. " 

"Is it not a little bit ... random? " 

"Yes, but it's more fun like that. If you drive me to the right place, I can open this portal and you will not hear about me anymore. " 

"Where is this good place? " 

"In Florida, at St. Augustine"

Just that, Florida. And why not Transylvania? Things are never simple ... Loki is about to give more explanations when someone knocks on your door with enthusiasm. Shit, who can it be? You are not waiting for anyone.

"Come open, I know you're up! "

 

Janet ... If Dolores Umbridge and Rita Skeeter had a child, it would be she, your atrociously sticky and talkative neighbor who never misses an opportunity to unpack her misfortunes and all the gossip as soon as she feels like it. If she ever sees that you have welcomed a god at home, you can say goodbye to any peace. 

"Go hide yourself in my room! Quick quick quick ! "

Totally panicked, you push the young man unceremoniously into your room, which you close the door in a scene worthy of a vaudeville. He should not complain, you could have hidden him in a cupboard. Some would say that you sorely lack respect for a deity but for now, you don’t really care. It is necessary that you make leave your neighbor and in the shortest time. It is a gossip dubbed a nosy. Fortunately your "guest" could not leave suspicious hanging (except hairballs?). 

Well, you have to go ... and quickly finish. Trying to hide your nervousness, you go to open, sticking an enthusiastic and perfectly shabby smile on your face.

"Janet! How are… " 

"My darling, it took you a while to open! I thought I was going to dry on the doormat. It’s seems that you didn’t want to see me. Hahaha, I'm kidding, I know you love me. Ah, but you have a frightful look ! Frankly, it's a shame to be so neglected at your age. Some might think I'm your little sister. But at the same time, it's true that I have a very healthy lifestyle ... "

Like a hurricane that would pass over you, your dear neighbor sends you in a stream of uninterrupted words, pushing you slightly to enter and throw her coat on a chair as if she were at home. Already tired when she has just arrived, you sigh and grit your teeth time to regain your composure (think kittens, sunrise, chocolate, Netflix ... You are zen) before going to find something to do tea. You let the monster enter your house and it's not the Asgardian in your room...

Half lying on the couch (no place for you, thanks…), Janet looks around with a falsely nonchalant eye but you know dangerous and on the lookout for the slightest hint. The slight pinch of her lips tells you that it is not a success. Thank God. You arrive with her tea, find a small seat on an armrest while the Queen of Sheba seems to think. A bad glow lights up in her little pig eyes, she's find something.

"You know - and my little darling, don’t think I'm spying on you or judging you, you know that I adore you and you can lead the life you want, as shameless as you wish; after all, you're not baptized, so you're doomed to Hell- I seem to have heard you speak vehemently last night ... were you with your boyfriend? "

The oblique look she gives you would make a member of the Spanish Inquisition pale with jealousy. It lacks all the subtlety but it's enough to destabilize you for a short time. Perhaps because the images of the night go back into your memory and that the scene could have been confusing for an outside eye. You roll your eyes, looking for a lie that is skilled enough to explain your outbursts of nocturnal voices. Can it work to say that you're possessed? 

"No boyfriend, I repeat it often enough. I will die alone and my cat will eat my leftovers.” Oh, but I have an excuse! "Besides, I was with Loki last night. He wanted to do mess and I scolded him a bit ... Sorry for the noise ..."

Perfect, that's fine, Janet already takes you for an old cats girl. A little mustachioed head is pointing at the tip of his nose and you welcome your alibi with joy, knowing the other Loki (the impostor, the bad guy, the non-cat) is in your room. With a gesture, you invite it to settle on your knees and it does not wait. You create a remake of the Virgin and Child in front of your neighbor who seems disappointed by this explanation. Sorry Janet, you cannot find gossip everywhere.

"Oh ... hmm ... I'm sorry for you. It's so sad to hear you speak alone, at night, with no one to take you in his arms. But if you're happy like that, my little darling, it's essential, some lives are empty but enjoyable. "

Since the time she balances you this kind of small remarks, it does not touch you anymore so you smile gently and cuddle your cat with joy, a little to support your excuse but mostly because it feels good, it relaxes. After a month of separation, he is not resentful and half climbs you by purring happily before finally curled up while Janet embarks on a monologue without beginning or end that you don’t listen at all. Needless, she just wants you to nod your head now and again. The worst is over, she dropped the case and since her curiosity was not satisfied, she will leave shortly.

“Well, I'll be late for ... stuff. Bye honey, take care of yourself and don’t forget: you can tell me everything. "

With a fairy godmother's smile, your neighbor ends up picking up her coat and leaving, slamming the door a bit too violently for her image as a delicate little woman in sugar. You raise your arms in the air pushing a mute "yes! ", wait a few minutes to be sure that Janet will not come back and decide to let your roommate leave.

"It's ok, the danger has passed. You can come… " 

No need to speak too loudly, you're sure he heard. He was good, it is rather a good sign for the future. While waiting, you caress the head of your cat. 

"Thank you for being my alibi, you came at the right time.”

“You’re welcome. "

Oh son of ... The cat on your knees stretches out before changing into the greatest manipulator / opportunist / bastard of the universe, lying on you and obviously very proud of his joke. In a burst, you throw yourself at the other end of the sofa before getting up to put even more distance. To perfect the ridiculous, your cat (the real one) tumbles like a rocket while running after a plastic stopper. Ok ... You’ve been fooled. It's time to bring the god home. The earliest would be best. 

"Florida, huh? What are we waiting for ?! "


	4. Travel forms youth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story changes scenery ..... literally. And it's not necessarily as classy as in the legends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translated with Google traduction, sorry.  
> I hope it's gonna be fine and you'll enjoy ^^
> 
>  
> 
> The author and the characters apologize for the absurdity of this plan. Had to find something.

About the travel to Florida, there is not much to say. Not because of laziness, but because it was an extremely boring journey. Although the idea of spending long hours with a Nordic god might seem amusing, nothing thrilling happened. Actually, you don’t complain, Loki and you almost didn’t speak. You listened to the radio to avoid having to make the conversation. Actually, it was mostly you who were closed like an oyster and, politely, your passenger respected the silence. More than a day trip and a few hours sleep in the car later, you arrived in St Augustine.

A blazing sun flames over your heads, making you immediately regret the freshness of your apartment. Trying as much as possible to escape the heat, you're as comfortable as a lobster in a jacuzzi. Loki slams his door, arranges his hair turned coppery to make it less recognizable. In your humble opinion, a simple cap and sunglasses would have been enough but let him play.

"So, explain to me, how could a park on the theme of the Fountain of Youth help you join Asgard?”

Not that you question his plan of genius but it does not seem to you that the Vikings have much to do with the Spanish settlers of the 16th century. Keeping silent for a few moments, Loki looks at a sign, slightly puzzled about the logic of that plan.

"According to legend, one of the first guardians of Bifrost fled to Earth to spend the rest of his immortality here. He would be at the origin of the myth of the Fountain. Perhaps. It's totally absurd but possible. My brother has landed in New Mexico; it does not make more sense ...»

Basically, he doesn’t know but he tries anyway ... You guess it's part of his personality, this player side. Well ... if it can send him away and restore calm in your life, it suits you very well. Let’s go to the Fountain of Youth. Even if it's totally stupid. But sometimes events don’t make sense, you have to let yourself go through the thread of history and focus on the most important.

Some families overtake you to head for the entrance, noisy group of talkative children, exhausted mothers and congested strollers. Several looks linger on the young man who accompanies you; scrutinize him from head to toe with appreciation. Less discreet is impossible. A teenager turns to her sister while you wait for the tickets, wondering aloud if this pretty boy is a model or an actor. And also why he is accompanied by a minger. Pff ... You pay your entrees, looking slightly pinched (minger ...!) and hurry to get away from others. Absolutely not embarrassed to be the center of attention, Loki takes his time to join you, addressing a brilliant smile to the two girls who giggle stupidly.

"Maybe I should stay a little longer in the area. "

"Don’t even think about it. Let's go to your gate or whatever. Now. "

Your annoyance is more than visible, to the delight of the young man who slightly sneers and goes at the opposite of the rest of the crowd and the Fountain of Youth. You leave the fake Spanish colony to go into dirty roads with no shade, gradually taking a distance between you and the rest of the world. Your shoes creak on the sandy ground and the ambient heat annoys you, especially when you think of the tourists who must be well chilled in the artificial cave representing the Fountain. Nevertheless, you refrain from moaning, continuing to follow him by walking quickly until arriving at a pontoon overlooking a kind of lake. Or at least, what looks like a big puddle. It's better for you to contain all the questions and jokes that sting your lips, Loki seems quite serious and focused.

“It’s not Skidbladnir but that will do…” 

Sure of himself, he goes down into the water, indicating you with a nod a small wooden boat that seems to you to be of the decor. This doesn’t prevent the god from climbing in, starting to untie the ropes as if he were master on board. Without really thinking about it, you go up after him, shrug your shoulders when he darts on you a surprised look. To tell the truth, you don’t want to finish now, it would be too soon. You don’t intend to accompany him home but you can always see what he intends to do. It promises to be interesting.

Maybe you should worry about the turn of events; after all, you are stealing a boat and you're pretty sure you're out of the authorized viewing area ... but deep down, you don’t really care, seems like the alien rubs off on you. The wind is almost absent, you take oars (for a decorative element, it is rather complete) and penetrate the surface of the water in unison to get away from the bank. The task is also much easier than you would have thought: the boat is running rapidly on the turbulent wave, sailing in the middle of the mud and some tufts of aquatic vegetation. Looking at the horizon, Loki seems to be searching for something impatiently, the tips of his fingers tapping on the handle of his oar. Although you scan the surroundings, you don’t see anything particular, no portal leading to an unknown world.

Gradually, however, the boat slows down and stops, leaving you static in the middle of nowhere. According to the expression of your traveling companion, it is not him who made you stop but he doesn’t seem more worried than that. On the contrary, he stands up with a satisfied smile and begins to lean forward of the boat, feeling the hull, as if he was looking for something, a knot in the wood for example. Intrigued, you sketch a movement to see what he makes, rocking the boat.

“Stay back to avoid imbalance, I need a counterweight ...”

Without further explanation, Loki leans a little more, leaving you slightly upset to be treated as a counterweight. Being able to do nothing but wait, you look around, trying to assess how long it will take you to get back to the car once the god left. You just hope that the boat will be maneuvered as easily in both directions, the idea of being found by the park staff or even the police doesn’t enchant you.

A green glow suddenly illuminates the surface of the water, catching your attention. Loki, hovering overboard, keeps his hand submerged, seems to be watching for something while a gleam of excitement appears in his eyes.

“Normally, it would have taken Asgardien or Vane blood to open the door, mine cannot work. So I had to ... use a trick.”

Without him having to state it clearly, you understand that he wants to talk about his magic gifts, even if you don’t try to understand what he did precisely. You are rather curious to know what will happen, especially since the green glow has already faded, without the boat has begun to stir, the sky to rumble or water to bubble. You cast a skeptical look at the god, somewhere eager to see him fail (he is so arrogant). Loki just frowns at the water, always waiting for something to happen. The ambient calm answers him, almost mocking.

Suddenly, his arm sinks a little deeper into the opaque wave, as if a force wanted to draw him to the bottom. Unbalanced, Loki flips overboard and you only have time to catch him clumsily by ankle hoping to pull him back. Unfortunately, it serves only to eject you at the same time as him, the troubled water closing on you in an instant. Total darkness surrounds you as you sink deeper, far too deep for such a modest lake. Instinctively, you close my eyes and grab Loki a little harder, wondering if you're going to finally drown because he made a mistake. 

Without warning, you stop being pulled down and go up like corks, the pressure of the water withdrawing from your face at the same time as the light hits your eyelids. You open your eyes, surprise, and your first thought is that you're dead and that's what looks like what some people call "Heaven". Florida has changed to a totally unknown rocky setting, composed of cliffs and some conifers as if you were in the mountains. The stifling heat has disappeared, replaced by a pleasant breeze that ripples the surface of the water, now clear. A shout of victory resonates near you as Loki brushes a few wet wicks from his face and admires the landscape before moving towards the rocky bank facing you. Dazed not to say frozen, you remain motionless, water to the shoulders without paying attention. Are you really in another world? Did you travel through space? How are you going home? And the car ... the parking will cost super expensive…

The Asgardian realizes your shock and gently takes your arm to drag you to the mainland. You don’t oppose him any resistance, look absentmindedly at the surrounding vegetation, the sky where two suns shine, the drops of water running down Loki's neck. It is only once on earth that you find your spirits and resume, as if feeling the dry land was doing you good. Fixing you as if he feared that you might have a fit or faint, Loki speaks in an almost benevolent tone but with no trace of underlying mockery.

“All is well, we are not in danger. Breath. Are you ok?” 

His unusual kindness stings you and wakes me up, making you feel ridiculous like a stupid damsel in distress. You lost my temper, it will not happen again. Lest your voice tremble, you just nod with the utmost conviction and move away from the young man, spinning your t-shirt. Here you are on another planet ... ok, let's move on.

Loki lets his hand fall, seems to reflect a few moments on your reaction, before showing you a path winding through the trees to the top of a mountain. Your instinct blows you that the climb may not please you, you're not a great sportswoman.

“We will reach the nearest village, it is an hour walk. At least it will give our clothes time to dry.”

Without waiting for your answer, he starts walking, not disturbed to have traveled between the worlds. Maybe he's used to it, it must be like taking the bus for him. Maybe more complex: having to navigate in the middle of the mud in Florida, it is particular. Disregarding the water that makes your shoes swish, you begin to follow your strange guide to where he wants to lead you. After all, it's not like you have another choice. The same silence settles between you and Loki, as heavy as in the car, interrupted only by your breaths. Fortunately (especially for you), the slope is not very steep and you are moving at a good pace. The suns dry your clothes without suffocating you with their warmth and you gradually find your spirit, admiring the landscape so pure. If the rock did not have a slight bronze glow, you could have believed yourself on Earth during a hike.

Finally, you arrive in front of a cave, unless it is a tunnel in the mountains. Loki adjusts his outfit and gives you a half-smile to tell you you're coming to your destination. For a brief moment, he seems to be about to say something but restrains himself, seeming to revel in the suspense that is starting to mount. The worry has given way to an impatient curiosity and you glance at the rock arch in the hope of seeing something. Your impromptu guide doesn’t make you wait any longer and goes in the cave, walking quickly while your heart beats harder. Arriving at the end of the tunnel, you run almost so much you're excited and it makes your reaction more comical when you stop by discovering what is hidden at the end of the gallery. Loki joins you, amused by your face expressing delightful rapture as a child at Disneyland.

"Welcome to Vanaheim"


	5. A whole new world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Immersed in another world, our two companions of misfortune could maybe unveil more than expected ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translated with Google traduction, sorry.  
> I hope it's gonna be fine and you'll enjoy ^^

Dug into the side of the mountain and extending on a rocky plateau, a village stretches before your eyes, unsuspected. The contrast between the calm, primitive exterior, and the bustling city leaves you speechless, how could you have imagined that a city was hiding in the mountains? To believe the various stalls that clutter the streets, it must be market day. The set is both surprising and strangely familiar, so all the planets have a market day? A public place?

The ambient effervescence has something reassuring, it's so easy to be invisible in the middle of a crowd. People come and go without paying attention, do their shopping, pull their children by the hand, as everywhere else. Undaunted, Loki traces his path in the middle of all this world, throwing you regular glances to make sure that you are always following him. He does well because you struggle to stay focused. It's a new world ... a new planet on which you're walking! The faces that you meet surprise you, similar to those of the Asgardians or humans but more elongated, the facial features thin as a sketch. You have all the trouble in the world to lower your eyes not to stare too much, you need to learn more about this world, its people, their lives ... You have never felt the urge to leave or travel but you burn with impatience to discover Vanaheim and his people.

A hand closes without violence on your arm to prevent you from drifting away; Loki stopped and shows you what seems to be a small shop, sunk between two houses. Difficult to distinguish what it is, the front is very dark ... You question him with a look, not without clearing yourself before.

\- I need a couple of things, so stay here. When I return, we will look for where to spend the night. Don’t go away. 

\- Are you afraid that I'm doing something stupid? " 

\- Wait for me before making one, I don’t want to miss the party. 

The young man smiled before leaving, rustling his cloak around his legs as he disappeared into the crowd. The golden glow of his hair is lost a brief moment before he rejoins the shop and gets into it. You guess you just have to pass the time.

People continue to flock, how lucky it is market day. Several languages that you don’t understand slam and rise, some singing, others harsher. You also perceive a little English mixed with Celtic, in the mouth of a woman who, with bare arms, shoots a horse without seeming to make the slightest effort. Men with copper-colored skin proudly display stones as if they were trophies, wipe them on their tunics.

It is then that your eyes are attracted by the brilliance of a golden armor, seer in the middle of the dark and finely embroidered clothes. A guard, if you believe by the helmet and serious look, which immediately triggers your alarm bell inside. You know, the one that makes you scream in the presence of a cop even if you have nothing to blame you. Except that now, you're probably the equivalent of an illegal so there is something to panic about. Your eyes meet, he comes to you and you fight with all your strength not to escape (what's more suspicious?) while glancing at the shop. But no, no trace of Loki. He is never there when you need him ... The guard arrives, details you from head to toe, not missing anything of your... earthly outfit and your tense smile.

\- Hello Madam, you are not from here, I presume. 

\- Yes ... I am a tourist. (What else to answer?)

\- And you are accompanied? 

\- This is for a survey ? (But what's wrong with me ?! Answer "no" and that's enough ...)

The soldier stares at you for long seconds before putting his hand on his belt. Oh my god, he will draw his sword, put you under arrest for insolence? Wandering? Port of sneakers not allowed? The idea of finishing your days in an extraterrestrial jail suddenly makes this trip a lot less fun. In the meantime, you stiffen and watch the soldier's hand as if he were going to drop a bomb. But no, he releases what seems to be a portrait he presents to you and you recognize the model without hesitation.

"Have you seen this god ?"

Painted with a certain accuracy on an illuminated parchment, Loki's face faces you, looking proud and intelligent in his finely chiselled armor. His hair is short ... it must have been a long time ago. He looked happy. With your face closed, you pretended to take your time to examine the portrait before raising your head, looking sincerely sorry.

"No, I don’t see who it is, but I have never met him. Sorry for not being a big help."

Maybe you should change your mind, why lie to a guard? It's even foolish to trust the god of malice at the expense of a representative of the order (even if it's not your planet). But you do not see yourself betraying Loki, it's up to him to manifest his presence. The guard makes a new attempt, displaying a slightly clinging professional conscience.

\- You are sure ? He can disguise himself and change his appearance by producing a green light. He's a dangerous man, if you know anything ... 

\- I would tell you but, alas, I have not seen anything that fits your description. If that's the case, I'll give the alert. 

He’s almost sticky ... Fortunately, the soldier seems to drop the case, greet you before turning his heels. He is right all the way, obviously. But you prefer to keep the "dangerous man" on your side, better to have it in front of you than having to watch your back. Even if you do it already. You hope you will not regret having kept silence.

It doesn’t take long for the god to return, empty-handed, apparently proud of himself. To see him puts an end to your doubts, you did well to shut up. Besides, you find yourself not telling him about the intervention of the guard, you cannot say why. Loki doesn’t seem on the alert, wondering if you did not do anything reprehensible in his absence with his usual mockery in the back of his eyes.

"Come, I have something to show you."

With a nod, he invites you to follow him to a small street, a proposal that immediately triggers the red alert in your brain and makes you tense.

"Should I be suspicious now or waiting a bit?"

The god rolls his eyes as he sees you go back instead of advancing towards him, rushes without waiting for you in the empty passage to disappear at a junction. And like a child, you decided to follow him, curious at heart to know what he may have to show you.

[Girls, we know it's not something to do with a stranger, even if he offers sweets. Do not reproduce that at home]

Leaning against a kind of low wall, your improvised guide takes a look at you before returning his attention to the landscape and for once, you remain silent. Built in the rock, youI understood that the city in which you find yourselves was on the mountainside but you did not suspect that the view was so ... beautiful. An immense forest extends to the horizon between two plains, each green made deeper by the sunset which bathes the panorama with a tawny glow. To the east, the mountains cut dark shapes, majestic in the sky still hesitating between amber and purple. It's an absolutely great show ...

Something indistinct pushes you to leave the contemplation of this scene to look at your neighbor. His curls, glowing with twilight, bring out his face like a golden mask, an astonishingly sad mask. Loki's eyes turned toward the horizon, seeming lost in thought, as distressed by a painful memory. Silence settles, strange tension in front of such a beautiful show.

"My mother was from a beautiful country ..."  
These words were only a murmur, a simple thought aloud, but they resound with grief in the calm environment. The sun's rays catch a shining shine that runs down the god's cheek, the only drop of pain he lets out. Without thinking, you put a hand on his arm, gently, making you very small. He and you stay like that a few moments, frozen in the day that declines. Then Loki recovers himself, smiles ironically as if he were ashamed to think of his mother and stands up.

"It's time to find where to sleep." 

The moment is broken, you retreat, nod before following him to return to the village where people begin to disperse, the day ends. You are still full of wonder and a little melancholy, it will pass.  
Finding a hostel is easier than expected and you soon find yourself climbing a small dark wooden staircase before your travel partner, in a small medieval room. A small table, chairs, a bed and a screen hiding a toiletry bag, it's very simple but exciting, you feel to have gone back in time. Perhaps you accept with a little too much ease to find yourself in a strange world, far from all that you know, with for only companion a god as attractive as untrustworthy.

The latter sweeps the room at a glance, raises an eyebrow amused in front of the single bed but without comment. It is not time to think about this kind of little detail, for now, you're hungry. Something you would have liked to keep secret but which resonates in a long gurgling of the most inelegant. Pff ... anyway, you were already a living stomach so you'll take it. Loki bursts out laughing and reopens the door, reassuring you in a voice too sweet to be honest.

"Me too, I'm hungry. Stay here, I'll go get something for dinner." 

With a gentlemanly smile, he disappears, letting you explore the little room at leisure and detail the landscape that extends behind the window. The two suns lie down, bathing with fire the little houses and the mountains on the horizon. It is definitely a superb view ...

The pitcher's water is cool while you wash your hands but it's a good thing. You have not really had a chance to rest since you left for Florida. To think of the calm that was your life a few days ago makes you laugh, it seems far away. All this because of a god ... His sad face comes back to you, it is probably not time to ask him questions, better forget that. But it was a very strange moment ... he hides a lot of things, that's for sure.

The door creaks on its hinges and you tear yourself away from your thoughts to unload Loki from what appears to be a tray containing something to eat and wine. Very Skyrim ... It's funny how he looks in his element here, dressed like the villagers outside, with the dagger hidden under his cloak. Yes, you noticed it and it did not worry you. On the contrary, you were surprised to imagine him fighting with it. It's so much sexier than a big axe ... but you're going astray.

As he turns on his heels to arrange some details with the innkeeper, the little voice that continues to be wary of Loki reminds you to order. Since when is he the kind to kindly bring the dinner? It sounds a lot too ...fake. Perhaps you should take some precautions. The tray seems quite normal, consisting of bread, cheese and grapes, quite harmless for the rest. The wine also seems safe but youI have seen Princess Bride enough times to be suspicious. Quietly, you empty the tin goblets in the jug before mixing and refilling them. If ever Loki slipped something into your drink, we will share. And if it's poison, his divine metabolism will protect him ... shit, you didn’t think about it.

Too late, he comes back. You only have time to throw yourself on the side of the window before he enters the room, displaying an expression of pure innocence. For the first time since your departure, he drops the red hair to find his original color and you can’t say what's best for him. It's not that important. You sit opposite each other, trying to look natural while you are still strangers, despite a month of colocation. The whole thing is not to let the conversation fall down. 

"Now that you are in Vanaheim, what are you going to do?"

He has already explained to you that it is a world near Asgard but that does not mean that there is an easy passage between the two kingdoms.

"Tomorrow, I'll leave for Asgard, it will not be very long before I get there." 

More blurry, you die but it is likely that you cannot understand what he has in mind. Assuming that you know what is hidden there because, for the moment, you cannot catch what he is trying to do to return to his planet. Silence falls while you eat and drink, you try not to look at him too much, he does not give himself this trouble. After a while, you frown and let go.

\- You have no plan, do you? 

\- No. 

Surprised by his own response, Loki conceals his confusion by swallowing a grape, tipping it with the tip of his tongue in an absolutely scandalous and disconcerting way. Not enough, however, to make you forget what he has just confessed: he has no idea what he will do next. It does not surprise you half but still, it's not reassuring.

"Why did you follow me?" 

In the semi-darkness of the room, it sounds a bit like an interrogation in a detective film, except that you have nothing to hide. He may be disappointed, your answers are as unclear and disappointing as his.

"A touch of curiosity. And then, I did not really have a choice. What do you plan to do with me?"

It is true that you have not asked him the question yet. No doubt you clutter him by staying in his paws but on the other hand, none of you chose this situation and if you hosted him for a month, he may well agree to serve as a guide time to go home. 

"I think I’ll wait for you to be asleep and leave with the horse I just bought. Wait ..." 

This time, the young man puts his hand to his mouth for a brief moment, surprised. His eyes are on the wine a fraction of a second, a gesture that reinforces youme in the idea that he was too kind to be sincere. You try my luck, wanting to check what you"re starting to suspect.

"What did you put in my glass?" 

A sentence that nobody wants to pronounce ...

"Forseti's root, to make you admit any secrets, he says casually."

This guy would wreak havoc on a date ... The stratagem surprises you but you cannot blame him to be wary, you can’t say that your relation is based on trust. Moreover, that Loki was caught in his own trap could be a fabulous opportunity ...

Calm is already returning to the face of the god, he has the art of always finding countenance. His fine fingers play with a grape while he leans back, obviously thinking about how to keep the advantage. You are dubbed like two duettists for a few moments before Loki smiles at you, triggering a shiver down your back. 

\- Good game. I'm impressed. 

\- It will be a Truth Night

\- I am excited to begin. But do not ask a question you are not sure you want to know the answer to.


End file.
